An excerpt from

"MASOCHISM TANGO"
by Bruce Kane

Copyright: Bruce Kane Productions 2006
All Rights Reserved
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"Masochism Tango" is protected by copyright law and may not be performed
without written permission from Bruce Kane Productions. To obtain permission go to
www.kaneprod.com/plays/playscontact.htm and complete the Contact Us Form.

IMPORTANT BILLING AND CREDIT REQUIREMENTS All producers of "Masochism Tango" must give credit to Bruce Kane as sole Author of the Play in all programs distributed in connection with performance of the Play and in all instances in which the title of the Play appears for any purposes of advertising, publicizing or otherwise exploiting the Play and/or production thereof, including posters, souvenir books, flyers, books and playbills. Bruce Kane must also appear immediately following the title of the Play and must appear in size of type not less then fifty percent of the size of type used for the title. The Author’s name must be equal to or
larger than the Director's, but never smaller than that of the Director. The above billing must appear as follows: "Masochism Tango" by Bruce Kane.

WARNING No one shall make any changes to this play for the purpose of production. Publication of this plays does not imply its availability for production.

"MASOCHISM TANGO"
by Bruce Kane

(A sexy, distant woman sits alone, perhaps smoking a cigarette. A stranger enters. He sees the woman...Slowly he begins to circle her, eyeing her
from head to toe and everywhere in between. Finally, he speaks...)

TED: I love you.

BARBARA: What?

TED: I love you.

BARBARA: Are you talking to me?

TED: Yes... I love you.

BARBARA: You don't even know me.

TED: That's why I love you.

BARBARA: If you'll excuse me.

TED: I've been looking for you all my life.

BARBARA: 've heard that line before.

TED: I mean it. You're perfect. Your nose is perfect. You hair is perfect. Your lips are prfect. Your legs are perfect. And... Your breasts are perfect.

BARBARA: 'm going to order lunch now.

TED: need you.

BARBARA: have no need to be needed.

TED: Perfect. I need a woman who has no need to be needed.

BARBARA: Well I don't need a man who needs a woman who has no need to be needed.

TED: I want you.

BARBARA: I'm unobtainable.

TED: That's why I want you.

BARBARA: I beg your pardon.

TED: I only want women I can't have. They never disappoint me.

BARBARA: That must make for long lasting relationships.

TED: Sarcasm in a woman turns me on.

BARBARA: We'd never get along.

TED: Is there someone else?

BARBARA: No.

TED: Are you emotionally involved?

BARBARA: I never get emotionally involved.

TED: Marry me.

BARBARA: I could never marry a man who actually wanted me.

TED: Of course.

BARBARA: A man who wanted me would also need me.

TED: I need you.

BARBARA: I know. That's why you can't have me.

TED: Have you ever been in love?

BARBARA: Hundreds of times.

TED: What happened?

BARBARA: They didn't know I was alive.

TED: Thrilling, isn’t it?

BARBARA: Have you ever been married?

TED: Scarlet Johanson wouldn't return my calls. If I told you I didn't need you, didn't want you and didn't love you, what would you do?

BARBARA: Throw myself at your knees.

(The play continues)