A brief excerpt from

“MIRROR, MIRROR ”
A One Act Comedy
by Bruce Kane

In this one act play, a jealous stepmother, a wisecracking mirror and a sexy stepdaughter provide a new spin on the Sleeping Beauty legend in which physical beauty is everything.

Copyright: Bruce Kane Productions 2005
All Rights Reserved
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"Mirror, Mirror " is protected by copyright law and may not be performed without written permission from Bruce Kane Productions. To obtain permission go to www.kaneprod.com/ contact.htm and complete the Contact Us Form.

IMPORTANT BILLING AND CREDIT REQUIREMENTS All producers of "Mirror, Mirror" must give credit to Bruce Kane as sole Author of the Play in all programs distributed in connection with performance of the Play and in all instances in which the title of the Play appears for any purposes of advertising, publicizing or otherwise exploiting the Play and/or production thereof, including posters, souvenir books, flyers, books and playbills. Bruce Kane must also appear immediately following the title of the Play and must appear in size of type not less then fifty percent of the size of type used for the title. The Author’s name must be equal to or larger than the Director's, but never smaller than that of the Director. The above billing must appear as follows: "Mirror, Mirror" by Bruce Kane.

WARNING No one shall make any changes to this play for the purpose of production. Publication of these plays does not imply its availability for production.

“MIRROR, MIRROR ”
A One Act Comedy

CHARACTERS:
STEPMOTHER: Of a certain age… Slim, attractive, insecure, overly done up.
MIRROR: Put upon Male with attitude.
NARRATOR: Male, strong voiced.
SLEEPING BEAUTY: Young , hot, shallow.
PRINCE CHARMING: Young, handsome, polite, pompous.
PRINCE CHARMING’S DAUGHTER: Hot
PRINCES: Suitors for the hand of Sleeping Beauty. Could be played by one or two males doubling the parts.

TIME: Once upon a time.
PLACE: A land far, far away.
SETTING: An upholstered chaise, a lectern and the frame of a full length mirror.

(Excerpt #1 from "Mirror, Mirror")

LIGHTS UP:

(The STEPMOTHER stands in front of a full length mirror primping and admiring herself. The NARRATOR stands on the other side of the stage reading from a large book that sits on a lectern. Between them is an upholstered chaise.)

NARRATOR: Once upon a time in a land far, far away… lived a woman who was vain, self-centered, ego centric…

STEPMOTHER: Not to mention slim, firm and very, very attractive..

NARRATOR: A woman who was vain, self centered, ego centric, not to mention slim, firm and very, very attractive… who believed that the only thing in life that counted was physical beauty.

STEPMOTHER: Mirror, mirror on the wall…

(A man appears in the mirror)

MIRROR: That’s me. I’m the mirror on the wall. Talk about a lousy gig.

STEPMOTHER: Stop whining. You could be reflecting the image of some has-been with crow’s feet and a chicken neck.

MIRROR: Lay it on me, honey.

STEPMOTHER: Mirror, mirror on the wall…

MIRROR: Here it comes.

STEPMOTHER: Who’s the fairest of them all?

MIRROR: You’ve been asking me this same question everyday since you’re last birthday when you turned…

STEPMOTHER: Thirty two.

MIRROR: Thirty two? Then why did you have fire marshals standing by when they lit the candles?

STEPMOTHER: Never mind.

NARRATOR: Consumed by her own physical appearance, each day she would ask the same question.

STEPMOTHER: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?

NARRATOR: And each day she would get the same answer.

MIRROR: Before or after the nose job, the face lift, the tummy tuck and the boob job?

STEPMOTHER: (sternly) Just answer the damn question.

MIRROR: Fine… You are the fairest of them all.

STEPMOTHER: (sweetly) That’s better.

MIRROR: (under his breath) At least in this zip code.

NARRATOR: It was hard to argue with her belief in beauty as the be all and end all for a woman of a certain age.

STEPMOTHER: Which I am not. A woman of a certain age.

NARRATOR: I’m just reading what’s written here.

(Excerpt #2 from later in "Mirror, Mirror)

STEPMOTHER: Good… Now who’s the fairest of them all?

MIRROR: Your stepdaughter by a mile.

(Angrily, the Stepmother picks up a hard object to throw at the mirror)

MIRROR: Seven years bad luck to break a mirror… Especially for the mirror.

STEPMOTHER: There is no way that my stepdaughter could be the fairest in the land… It’s impossible.

(Accompanied by drum beats, the stepdaughter struts in like a modern day pop singer, all legs, hips and shoulders. She bumps and grinds her way to center stage and then along the footlights, finally striking a sexy pose at center stage.)

STEPDAUGHTER: Hiya… Mom.

STEPMOTHER: I told you never to call me that. I have never been and never will be your…mom.

STEPDAUGHTER: (She primps in front the mirror) Hello, gorgeous.

MIRROR: Hello to you, too.

STEPDAUGHTER: I was talking to my image.

MIRROR: So was I.

STEPDAUGHTER: You’re cute.

MIRROR: You ain’t so bad yourself.

NARRATOR: The woman had not only been replaced but rudely and abruptly shoved aside. Her beauty paling in comparison to that of her younger, prettier, firmer, tighter and very, very, very hot stepdaughter.

(The Stepmother has seen and heard enough.)

STEPMOTHER: Oh yeah?

(She produces a hypodermic needle and jams it into the Stepdaughter’s behind. The Stepdaughter stumbles around and finally collapses onto an upholstered chaise.)

STEPMOTHER: Correction. Temporarily replaced and shoved aside. You got that, book boy?

NARRATOR: Temporarily replaced and shoved aside.

STEPMOTHER: Okay, mirror… Let’s try this one more time. Am I still the fairest in the land?

MIRROR: (frightened) Whatever you say, lady… Whatever you say.

(The play continues)